Whether supporting Black Lives Matter (BLM), stopping AAPI hate, fighting for trans rights or improving access for the disabled there are fights that impact minority populations where we can simply be a bystander sharing encouraging words to other bystanders. The work for equity, inclusion and justice is an ongoing battle with victories, casualties and an incredibly large number of spectators content to wait and see the outcome. Anyone willing to join the struggle earns a title more meaningful than “Ally.”

Joan Trumpauer Mulholland who wrote “More Than an Ally” https://www.civilandhumanrights.org/joan-trumpauer-mulholland/ dislikes the term because of its association with the war, and others agree that it is too militaristic. In 2013 Mia McKenzie wrote “No More Allies” https://www.bgdblog.org/2013/09/no-more-allies/ and argued to drop the term allies not because of military association but because many self-described allies were all talk and no action. Alicia Garza, one of the BLM founders has emphasized the term “co-conspirator'' in order to push the narrative for people who are not in the marginalized demographic to be more active. The now ubiquitous term ally will not go quietly from the lexicon, and the term “co-conspirator” is accurate but too cumbersome to stick. Despite the reluctance to use military terms, we already have titles for people willing to fight by our side. 

In the Army, it’s  a “battle buddy;” in the Navy, a “shipmate;” and the Air Force has a “wing-man.” The point every writer makes who has addressed the term ally is that people who want to help need to go beyond performative lip service to taking actual risks. Those willing to fight need to be recognized for their work and not for their pledge. People with power and influence can safely signal support without taking action but doing the work takes courage: acting despite fear.

Bravery and safety do not coexist simultaneously. 

Actions speak louder than words is an old but true trope that calls us to do something that shows support instead of just saying something. Here is a list of things characteristic of a battle buddy, shipmate or wing-man:

• You share an objective or goal
• You share risks
• Either you communicate or you both fail
• You respect each other
• You are committed

The unifying characteristic is trust. We go into battle with the people we trust, and trust is built through experience and often necessity. Finding a battle buddy from a different demographic is not easy but the reward is, as we say in the military, a “force multiplier.” Having a battle buddy gives us the ability to do things we couldn’t do alone and this work we can’t do alone.