Leadership Consulting with a J.E.D.I. Lens
The Need For Stress
Jeff Hutchinson • November 22, 2019
Stress is a force not a feeling
Waiting in the “Green Room” area before I address almost 3,000 of my peers I feel my heart beating wondering if my lapel microphone is picking up the sound. I’m saying the mantra in my head “I’m not nervous, I’m excited” as the chit chat of the other presenters blend into the background. I take the stage and deliver a short talk about taking care of children in military families.
It went well.
My first understanding of stress came during physics class:a force acting on an object. Until I recognized it as a force, I believed that it was a feeling to avoid or reduce at all costs. Accepting that stress is more like gravity neither positive nor negative, it is easier to navigate. Like gravity, the situation makes the difference. Standing on a ladder requires a different respect for gravity than floating in a swimming pool. Stress can be ignored when the consequences are low like playing a video game or high like when performing CPR. Stress is absolutely necessary for change. Lifting weights at a gym is controlled stress. Standing in front of an audience to make a point or writing a public opinion piece is voluntary stress. Experiencing a natural disaster is involuntary stress.
Whether the stress is racism, illness or leadership the difference in the response to stress is directly dependent upon the degree of control.
Voluntary stress is better than involuntary stress
The power of saying ‘no’ is underutilized. William Ury’s book “The Power of a Positive No: Save The Deal Save The Relationship and Still Say No” is required reading to appreciate the ability to say no. Choosing how much weight to lift, when to lift and how often to lift makes the stress of lifting manageable. Select the weight you lift with intention and use the privilege to walk away when you can.
Stress is a spectrum not binary
Endless stress is intolerable
Force over time is acceleration. Time is why objects break under continuous force. For organic organisms there must be a recovery period in order to adapt to the stress. Stress should not be unlimited. The popular emphasis on self care is the acknowledgement that stress needs a break. Unplugging from technology is a perfect way to practice turning off stress for at least a short period of time. Find a way to recover.
Stress is not the enemy any more than gravity is the enemy. It is a force that deserves respect and understanding so that it can be used in a positive way.
Whether the stress is racism, illness or leadership the difference in the response to stress is directly dependent upon the degree of control.
A letter to the editor
shared my thoughts on national stories of Black men dying from heart attacks and the conclusion that racial stress kills. Stress from being different is the stress least in our control except by avoidance. The critical question is, “Do we respond to inequity by blaming the stress on the victim or the system or both?” The system is difficult to change so it’s easier for most of us to focus on the individual. There are systems that need to change but until they do here are things we can do as individuals.
The power of saying ‘no’ is underutilized. William Ury’s book “The Power of a Positive No: Save The Deal Save The Relationship and Still Say No” is required reading to appreciate the ability to say no. Choosing how much weight to lift, when to lift and how often to lift makes the stress of lifting manageable. Select the weight you lift with intention and use the privilege to walk away when you can.
Stress with a purpose is empowering
ay your registration is a different stress than waiting in line at an amusement park. Knowing the goal or intent of the stress transforms the stress. When the final outcome of standing in a registration line is the freedom to drive, the stress is worth it. When the final outcome is ambiguous or painful, the stress is more challenging to bear. Look for the reward to your efforts. If stress is seen as all or nothing then avoiding stress is a viable and reasonable option. Stress is graduated. Speaking to five people is a different level of stress than speaking to 500 people. Speaking to your boss is different from speaking to a room of potential customers. The ability to moderate the situation to adjust the level of force increases the tolerance for stress. Prepare as much as possible and change what you can before.
Force over time is acceleration. Time is why objects break under continuous force. For organic organisms there must be a recovery period in order to adapt to the stress. Stress should not be unlimited. The popular emphasis on self care is the acknowledgement that stress needs a break. Unplugging from technology is a perfect way to practice turning off stress for at least a short period of time. Find a way to recover.
Stress is not the enemy any more than gravity is the enemy. It is a force that deserves respect and understanding so that it can be used in a positive way.
Comments
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Try these four techniques to help you through.
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3. Be specific in what you are grateful for
4. Allow people to help you
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